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Italian Men and attention, they go together like a bee to honey!

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so i promised i would start this thread.. so I will begin by saying I am a happy girl in my relationship. My bf is wonderful, funny, good-looking, caring, passionate ect ect ect ..

that said.. i noticed that he needs so much ATTENtion, sometimes if I am talking ( and obvious this happens alot as i can't seem to shut up) to other people in the same group or even AT HOME he will get moody and won't talk to me and then say I never give him any attention.. im like what.. huh??? Like are we seriously having this conversation. Its always random too, like if we are with his friends , i never seem to have any problem taking the "backseat " conversation wise and all of my friends love him, he comes out often with us but on the off day where he doesn't feel like the center of attention.. mamma mia.. here comes Mr. Moody!

anyone else experience this ? or he will offer to do something for me and i will say ok! and then he will act moody after i accepted.. which i HATE! dont offer if you are going to regret it later..

i was talking with a scottish friend of mine today with an italian BF and she told me her bf does the same but she was embaressed to admit it.. LOL.. then again he IS 27... perhaps as he ages that will change?? lol!

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Ggnitaly84 wrote:LOL.. then again he IS 27... perhaps as he ages that will change?? lol!

Hehehe! I wouldn't count on him growing out of it, Georgette. My ex (who was not Italian but had many of the same traits) was 40 and still behaving that way. Laughing Rolling Eyes

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My BF 42 and he is like that lol

It took my 9 months of begging to get a cat (after he promised we could get one when i moved in then said no!) because he said he would be jelous of the attention i would give it!! And he was jelous at first! its only take 1 year for him to get a grip with it lol

Oh and then we had this whole conversation last year about if we had a baby i would be dividing my attention 3 ways, the cat, baby and him and he didnt like the thought of it!!!!! oh crazy is that! I think finally though hes realised if we had a baby it would be a good thing! lol so im slowly working on him.

Oh and the other thing he does which i hate if im upset say im home sick (i dont do it very often) so we talk about that then he changes the conversation from how im feeling to how he's feeling and we end up talking about him! that drives me crazy!!

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wow I had an ex like that (not Italian) and it drove me nuts. If it drives you crazy now it will drive you even more crazy when you're married. What happens if you have kids?? Obviously he's a grown up now and can't be the centre of attention at all times.

Question No

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I wonder if its because they get mothered to much by there mothers when there little?!?!

The whole italian mother is head of the house hold thing, gives them loads of atenttion etc and so when they get a GF they think you will treat them in the same way?!

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oh clare don't get me started on the Italian mother thing!!! these people are a little out of balance!
All the best to you georgette! nobody's perfect. you'll have to put up with his neediness if he'll put up with one of your not-so-perfect traits. But surely this will be something to watch out for if you ever do have kids. I have friends here who are not my kind of people but were friends of my husbands- inherited friends -- these people are whacked. Wife had a baby and after like a week the husband was all mad because he got no attention and wife was "out of shape" and not skinny enough. Seriously, some other kind of planet they live on.

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My goodness I have something good to say for a change!
My bf is such an angel in this respect. I got pregnant when we had known each other for 5 months. Now we have 3. He is a great father and as soon as he comes home he plays with the kids. He is not moody or attention seeking. Sometimes grumpy, depressed, stressed etc. but normally it is related to work or money or frustration. He rarely goes out, when he does he prefers me to come too, says he enjoys it more if I am there. He encourages me to go out with my friends and he babysits. I go out for a walk most evenings around 9pm with my friend to get some exercise and he never complains about being left alone after a days work. He encourages me to rest during the day, always wants to buy me what I like (even though we have no money) but never buys anything for himself.(I have to buy stuff for him when he is not there ans surprise him). When we have friends around he cooks. He is attentive, listens and talks to my friends. He cleans the house, he does the shopping, he takes the kids to school. He is close to his family, but not in an exaggerated manner...there is never a power struggle, and if there are 'sides' to be taken (which there rarely are as his family are great, his sister is one of my best friends), he will be on my side.

Did it help that he is the last of 5 kids??? That his eldest brother and sister are mentally handicapped? That he is a twin? That his mother is English (and she went to boarding school)? I am sure that all affected him.

On the down side he is obsessively clean and needs the house to be clean before we can go out; he likes to cook...whereas I prefer to do other things; he is as poor as a church mouse, and he is into the 'bella figura'...although I am working on is a work in progress! See u can't have everything!

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Your BF sounds lovely Lizzie!

I hope my BF is like that when we have kids! i can see him being a good father once he had survived through pregnancy lool his father wasnt around so much when he was growing up because he worked all the time so i think my BF will make a huge effort when we have kids and so the things he never got to do with his father when he was little!

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[quote="ClareRoma"]Your BF sounds lovely Lizzie!

Well the proof is in the pudding as they say...u can decide tonight what u think of him!! He is a pain in the arse too...but that is all men!

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Ggnitaly84 wrote:on the off day where he doesn't feel like the center of attention.. mamma mia.. here comes Mr. Moody!

then again he IS 27... perhaps as he ages that will change?? lol!

LOL Loved the part about Mr. Moody. Um, no, I wouldn't expect it to change too much since he's 27, not 7. LOL But there's always hope.

My husband doesn't behave exactly this way but he does have this other habit which I've kind of decided is Italian, since I have never noticed anyone American doing it. He tends to not leave me alone when I need to concentrate, or when I decide to get on the phone or am trying to even just read a book OR (and this one is really annoying) when he asks me to watch a movie with him, then starts talking about unrelated things just as I get interested in the movie! I have decided if I want to watch a movie in peace, I have to go to the cinema alone!! When I first moved in with him, I was exhausted and a lot of it was because he TALKED so much! I honestly wasn't used to it. Maybe I didn't talk to myself enough in the years I was living alone. LOL

On the plus side, if he's busy doing something and I ask him to help me with something, he drops what he's doing and helps right away. So...I guess there's the silver lining. Suspect

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Michele my BF can talk alot to and he has the habit of suddenly changing subject without telling me so then i dont know what we are talking about! lol

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jessucanoel wrote:Lizzie, reading your description of G is exactly how I would describe my husband (minus the kids and the bella figura part lol). I feel really fortunate that Daniele is more American than Italian in many ways (division of housework, ect)! If he had been any different than the caring, affectionate and compassionate person he is, I wouldn't have married him!

After nearly 10 years Giuliano is still on trial! He has approved alot, by the time he is 60 he will be a well-oiled machine...but then I may want a younger man

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