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Closet, Wardrobe space and men!

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1 Closet, Wardrobe space and men! on 11th November 2009, 7:11 pm

I am curious to ask if anyone has had problems sharing closet/wardrobe space with BF's before? and how if it was resolved?

I am asking as my BF seems to refused to share this space with me i have a tiny little wardrobe that can barely fit anything in which he gave me as 'my space' when we moved in togeather. He on the other hand has the entire giant wall wardrobe which covers almost an entire wall in the bedroom!

I have managed to sneak a few things into it to be hung up which is about 5 items. The rest of this is all of his!

I also have 2 small basket things i bought myself to keep clothes in but he still complains when i leave a pile of clothes on the chair in the bedroom! I told him today i dont know where exactly he expects me to keep them as i have no space and want some of his in the giant wardrobe!

He just looked at me and replied we would buy a bigger wardrobe at some point to replace my tiny one he gave me! But still why wont he let me use his WARDROBE?!?!?!?!?!

Shocked

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2 Re: Closet, Wardrobe space and men! on 11th November 2009, 8:19 pm

yeah, of course it was his space and he kindly let u move in...maybe u need to start from scratch and get new appartment with 2 walk in wardrobes hee hee!

The other solution is you buy some of those free standing rails...he will find them so visually offensive that he will rush out and get a swanky new wardrobe (which he will take, and he will give u his old one!!!).

On the plus side, when I moved in with an old BF he made me hang my my clothes off his unused exercise bike...soon got the message that the relationship was not gonna be a permanent one!!

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3 Re: Closet, Wardrobe space and men! on 12th November 2009, 2:13 am

that sounds SO annoying, when i moved in with my BF and future in-laws, we moved into the grandparents old bedroom which strangely ( and kinda scary ) had all of their old clothes ( they've been dead for 5 + years ) in the furniture while my BF had a huge closet in his old bedroom on the 3rd floor. This meant I literally was living out of one shelf made free for me ( the rest were filled with grandmas old stuff ) and a suitcase , eventually 1/4th space was made for me until one day I freaked out and started screaming at my boyfriend until he started taking "Nonno's" old clothes out of the closet and moved it upstairs to the attic where it should have been in the first place. so now I have a nice half closet ( the other half is still occupied grr ) but its enough..

Is it normal to keep the grandparents old room as a relic with literally ALL of their stuff still there? So I totally get you Claire when it comes to having space. maybe you should just "freak out" like I did. I wish i would have done t sooner. Literally took the BF 5 minutes to moe all that stuff out. lol italians understand raw emotion/resentment..

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4 Re: Closet, Wardrobe space and men! on 14th November 2009, 12:45 am

yes, clare you sound very calm and kind. I would vote for the freak out session.

If this is about him hiding private stuff, then that needs to come out in the open for the future of your relationship. If it's about his precious clothes, then maybe he needs to find a BF instead of a GF! (i am kidding, but seriously!)

Or, just start taking some of his clothes one by one while he's gone (the old ones you don't like anyway) and then bring up the issue, open the closet and be like "there is so much space here!"

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5 Re: Closet, Wardrobe space and men! on 14th November 2009, 10:50 am

Italian men have hang ups and issues for everything. I can't open my mouth without Giuli picking me up on something! For e.g. recently I met Jessica (hello Lovey!) and as soon as she went Giuliano started saying I talked to much, I held them up, I shouldn't say this or that. Che palle! (scuse me but I need to swear!) I am fed up of not being able to just be myself. I mean up until now I have always tried to be myself, and to be kind and respectful too of course. But it is never enough, there are too many taboos. I can't say I am not going to accept an invitation, oh no, I have to say I will go and then phone and cancel at the last minute. There are also many cultural issues. I was 10 years with 3 Jamaican men (one after the other, not altogether!) and I never had so many problems. With Italians it is deceptive as we look more or less the same, they are so use to the false face of the 'bella figura' that they appear so easy going and agree with most of the things you say...at least to your face, but the cultural differences come out and boy are they problematic! (and I am with a half English one!!) They are also stuck in the fifties, to ready to accept the words of a 'superior', to accepting of being treated badly etc. (see Expats site on 'epidurals no longer free' in Healthcare section).
Another rant, another day in Rome!!!!!!!!!!

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6 Re: Closet, Wardrobe space and men! on 14th November 2009, 1:42 pm

Ugh lizzie - my sympathies.

I think the solution is to find a man who literally only ever wears jeans and old t-shirts (with jumpers over them in winter). I've seen my husband in a suit literally once in my life and that was at our wedding! He looks pretty awkward in our wedding photos. Very Happy

Anyway no probs with closet space here. In our new flat (rented not owned unfortunately) I got the big, entire wall wardrobe thing plus a chest of drawers and he got a cheapo, small closet from Mondo Convenienza. Laughing

OK he has a huge CD and book collection but clothes just aren't his thing. He's not Italian though (Dutch)- actually I find the whole obsession with clothes metrosexual that some Italian guys have a bit girly. But I'm from Australia so my male clothing standards are low... Rolling Eyes I dated an American guy when I lived in the US who was really into clothes and hair products etc. When I went into his bathroom and saw all his hair products in there it was a bit of a turn-off. Suspect

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7 Re: Closet, Wardrobe space and men! on 14th November 2009, 1:59 pm

haha the "metrosexual" .. we sure did have ALOT of those in los angeles while in texas a button-down and jeans was considered "nice". i Must say i do like guys who put care in their appearence because If i am , well they better to! haha but that may change when i have kids lol.. but i sure do see alot of italian women pushing their strollers with high heels, tight tight jeans, super atraight hair, and TONS of makeup.. i can't help thinking "where do they find the time?" ..

aww Lizzie , i know what you mean, sometimes i feel like I can do "nothing right", apparently my cleaning is mediocre, i don't understand italian 150% or that i am "too nice".. lol.. I am pretty feisty though and often if t says these things to me I retort with " well you could have saved yourself some effort and met a gil from italy!".. accept me and my american ways.. it isn't give 100% of yourself and they give none.. but om the other side... one thing i love about italian men is their affection.. hes always telling me I am his best friend, everything to him and if i was to leave him he would die ( lol dramatic ) ... and that i am "so beautiful" so... i will take the bad with the good.. after being with my american ex-bf whose idea of affection was to put him arm around me while watching sports.. i will keep my italiano...faults and all!

i know this is "off topic' but whatever! no ones going to scream at us like on expats lol.. I saw that thread about epidurals no longer being free ( apparently this was a miscommunication as it just depends which hospital you are at ) .. wtf/??? I OFTEN get irritated that here people just "accept" things.. france is not that far away and they would learn a thing or two about protesting to get what they want.. but anyway.. i wonder if its beacause people want to cheat the system and pay less taxes and don't trust their gov't no matter WHO it is.... but yeah when i complain to t he is always like "i know , i know". Like the time the bus driver started giving people the middle finger or skipping stops.. you could file a complaint but NOTHING would ever happen..

boh!

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8 Re: Closet, Wardrobe space and men! on 14th November 2009, 2:13 pm

In defense of my man (who in another thread I painted as picture perfect, well nearly) he has half the wardrobe space I have and is a jeans and t shirt kinda guy. His idea of being smart is wearing a shirt over jeans, (but he will criticise me if he doesn't like what I wear...and he likes masculine type casuals so I never get to wear girly things like dresses or skirts!). Anyway I never do any ironing...and with 5 of us in the house I feel that is some kind of accomplishment! If he wants something crease-free he irons it himself and doesn't complain...if he sees me ironing he says..'I'll do that' I think he thinks he does it better...but whatever works!!!! Cleaning is his thing...biazarre but true!!

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9 Re: Closet, Wardrobe space and men! on 14th November 2009, 2:26 pm

i don't think i have ever ironed in my life but "mama" here irons underwear,sheets,pillow cases, socks, and sheets.. she has this HUGE ironing system that me and bf joke probably could power a city in indonesia.. i know i should but ehhh i am the worst excuse for a "housewife" ever.. i will gladly pay my money to someone to do it well..

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10 Re: Closet, Wardrobe space and men! on 14th November 2009, 3:04 pm

My Bf doesnt trust me with the washing machine!

i used to use one in london when i lived there and never had problems or shrunk anything but i have never used my Bf's one as he seems worried i will ruin the clothes! although there is no proof of that! LOL

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11 Re: Closet, Wardrobe space and men! on 14th November 2009, 4:13 pm

Ggnitaly - yeah I agree. They have protests sometimes here in Rome but no one ever seems to have any idea what they protest is all about. And it's never about 'real' things like lack of pain relief for labouring women or the ridiculous salaries they pay here. I have a French friend here and she says that if they offered salaries like that in France they'd storm the Bastille again or something! Laughing

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12 Re: Closet, Wardrobe space and men! on 14th November 2009, 6:09 pm

ClareRoma wrote:My Bf doesnt trust me with the washing machine!

Hehe! Long may it last, Claire! That one's definitely in your favour. Wink Far better than him expecting you to wash all his dirty clothes for him.

On the subject of washing, one of my classes were hilarious the other week. They found out that I share a flat with one of the other (male) teachers and immediately started asking if I washed his pants for him! Seriously - this is 17/18 year olds, who you'd think might be a little more progressive, but clearly not ...

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13 Re: Closet, Wardrobe space and men! on 14th November 2009, 10:11 pm

this has turned into a lovely thread. big smile on my face as i read all of your thoughts, which i can so well relate to!

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14 Re: Closet, Wardrobe space and men! on 15th November 2009, 10:40 am

My house looks like a laundry factory...the kids and their Dad jUSt drop clothes where they stand and I have to go around picking them up and washing them..I am the clothes slave...I do at least 15 washing machines a week and have been known to do 8 iin one day in vomiting season! My washing machine is 5 years old, but in reality she is a tired, overworked old lady and its a toss up who I love more...WM or BF!

(Why are machines always refered to as female, maybe it is because they are useful? Or is it that men 'possess' their wives in the same way they possess their car, boat etc.))

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